Grief Writing

I have come to know from experience, having lost my mother and having been through a few broken relationships, that writing can be very therapeutic while we are grieving.

I remember writing page after page in my journal after I lost my mother to cancer. Grief writing helped me untangle the pain, frustration and deep sorrow that I felt.

I would write whenever I felt a sorrow arising in me. Sometimes the sorrow felt like a deep cry passing through a never-ending hollow tunnel; it kept echoing until it shredded every bit of my soul (metaphorically). It was a psychosomatic pain, slowly spreading a heaviness across my chest.

It was during these times I found solace in writing. I channeled my grief onto the page. I wrote about the memories of my mother. I still have the long letter I wrote to her wherein I expressed my emotions appreciating her, and my regret of not expressing that appreciation when she was alive.

I felt like writing these emotions down, and doing so truly helped in my healing process. It allowed me to feel a connection to her even though she wasn’t physically present.

Grief is not always only about losing a parent, a family member, or a friend. Grief can come from the loss of a beloved pet, or maybe a friendship you cherished came to an end. The loss of a romantic relationship can also be absolutely devastating.

I am not suggesting that grief writing is the correct way to deal with grief for everyone. However, personally, writing helped me care for my emotional health. It was tantamount to taking antibiotics to cure an infection.

Optimistically speaking, a major loss can change us as people in a good way. I became a different person than I was before losing my mother. It took a lot of time and self-healing, but I came through the experience with more understanding, empathy, and a much greater appreciation for the emptiness and the impermanence of life.

What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.

—Rumi