Once upon a time, far away in a small mountainous Himalayan village, in Tibet, lived a father and a son. Often times, the son would find his father, sitting by the window looking out over the paddy field, crying.
One day the son asked his father, why was he always crying. The father told his son that he was aging and soon he will die. Everything in this life is impermanent, and fleeting. What is today will not be there tomorrow, aging, dying and changes! Nothing is permanent. The father concluded that the root of his misery was ‘impermanence nature of life.’
The son listened sincerely to his father, without uttering even a whisper, until his father has gasped his last sorrow on his agony. When the father finally put his face in his palms and howled a cry, the son hugged his father and whispered in his ears, "Father, if there was no impermanence I will forever be a boy, I will never grow to be a man!"
The above story was narrated to me by my local Tibetan guide, while I was on a pilgrimage in Tibet with a group of Buddhist practitioners. It was the summer of 2019, exactly half a year before the world changed its normalcy due to COVID-19.
Right now I am sitting in a park in nyc, its late summer, we are almost into nyc fall. The leaves are slowly beginning to change colors, some young trees are already shedding their leaves, even the air feels a crispness of fall. The park is gathered by young and old. The beings around me are chatting with their friends in person or on call, some are reading, some just gazing and perhaps a homeless few tables away from me, hunched and cornered on the far end of the bench, probably asleep. I wonder what the park scene was yesterday or even an hour ago from now.
This time of the year feels less stressed as compared to last year, with most people vaccinated against COVID and the CDC guidelines eased, people are moving with some easiness, yet still condoned with the COVID-19 practices. I remember when I was studying in Osaka, Japan, when the Japanese got sick they would wear a facemask so that they are not contagious to another. I found that practice very awkward, but years later here I am with a facemask tugged under my chin.
There are few sparrows hopping about, feasting on the crumbs left by someone. The breeze is blowing gently, I have to keep tugging my hair behind my ears, I should have brought a hair-clip. Right across from me is the street, I hear the car honking and shrieking of brakes ever occasionally.
The lady behind me is listening to some news in Chinese, on her phone, she set the volume aloud, can’t ignore the distraction even if I try.
Gosh, the breeze again tossing my hair away. Perhaps I will use my left hand to pull my hair on one side and just type with my right hand! Ahh which reminds me I am to write my today’s post on Impermanence.
Impermanence is one of the cornerstone of Buddhist teachings and practices. All existence is impermanent and the only thing that is constant is change, so paradoxically the only thing in nature which is not impermanent is change.
Personally, understanding impermanence, as narrated in Zen quote, ‘lifted the fogs from my eyes’. I am not saying that I achieved Buddha hood on impermanence but studying on this subject and having had read numerous books, my brain somehow rewired from its pessimist traditional personality. I have noticed that I am not as rigid on my outlooks as before, somehow I adopted on being flexible and OK on few things which in the past, would be a totally different chaotic scenario if it didn’t follow the due course I had hoped.
While in Tibet, when I visited numerous temples and villages and interacted with the local Tibetan lay men, monks, kids, and woman. I was truly humbled by them, even though the Chinese revolution has left a huge impact in the country since the 1960s, I won’t go into details on the Chinese Revolution, this article is apolitical but I must say the Tibetans truly live the concept of impermanence, they accept their situations, try their best to live a good life and believe Karma (THE OTHER FAMOUS CORNERSTONE OF BUDDHISM). Instead of going through a turmoil emotions, they have come to terms with their situations and acceptance, one of old monk I met in an ancient monastery, in a village called Ralung, he said that when he was a little boy, he saw the Chinese troops invade and in-front of his eyes, he saw the monasteries turned to rubbles. He said that it’s his Karma, his faith and the acceptance was possible, due to understanding of impermanence.
As Buddha said, “All places, people, emotions, feelings are temporary, do not get attached, instead flow with it.”
In conclusion, understanding that we birth, age, get sick and eventually die (Buddha's four noble truths), reinstates in us that impermanence is inevitable. In our daily life we are bound to come across situations we are uncomfortable with, people who annoy us, plans falling out of place, loved ones dying or leaving us, expectations not met. No matter how hard it is when we are faced with the mentioned situations or worse, acknowledging its temporariness, somehow heals us internally.
For me whenever I read a new concept or idea or philosophy, I bring it on to my meditation mat. I let the thought or the idea visit me when I am meditating. Sometimes instead of trying to understand it theoretically, its good to be pragmatic about it, try practicing it.
For after all everything is Impermanent :)
It's almost getting dark now, the Chinese lady behind me with the loud radio left long ago I think, her bench lays vacant. The sparrows have retreated to their nests, hopefully they had enough to eat from the crumbs. Far across from me I see a young couple cozily sitting together, cooing ;)
Thank you Park for hosting me today, in this state of constant change I am glad for your hospitality xx